The phases of grief

Before we get into the phases of grief, it’s important to understand, what is a bereavement?

Bereavement can be defined as the loss of someone close to you, or the loss of a loved one. The grief experienced is the response to that loss.

So in this context grief and loss is a process which can be considered permanent. There will always be an element of loss. But, grief does change over time. There are a series of emotions experienced, even though there will always be a reaction of some kind to losing someone we love.

Stages of grieving

There are stages of grieving which is comforting to people as they see themselves or others moving through these phases or stages in an ordered way. It helps us understand and contain the chaos of grief if we have five jobs to do. We’ve discussed these in more detail, here.

However, this breakdown of the various stages of grief implies there is a particular order to dealing with grief and that grieving is a linear model where in fact we know that grief is a roller coaster with good and bad days being unpredictable.

In this video, they discuss how grief can be conceptualised:

1. Acute grief (grief shock).

The initial stages of grief which usually begins shortly after the death of a loved one. However, in the case of long term, terminal illnesses such as cancer or alzheimer’s, it is not unusual for the grief to start even before our loved ones have died. Many people feel guilt at grieving for the terminally ill prior to their death. This is a normal part of our acceptance. We should expect to behave in this way. It is misunderstood sometimes as being disloyal, but mourning is distinct to individuals and everyone’s process is valid.

Acute grief can include a whole host of experiences that you have never encountered before and you may feel vulnerable in a way you have never felt before. Grief postulates a series of emotions which are deep rooted such as a need to reconnect with the loved one that we have lost or are losing.

This can be overwhelming and you may feel significant emotional pain that can feel physical pain. There may be physical pain that you’ve never felt before such as fogginess and dizziness, heart palpitations and feelings of unreality and denial.

In this phase you may have frequently distracting thoughts about your loved ones. You may have issues concentrating on things that you would normally have been fine with. When we’re grieving our brain is less concerned with remembering normal day to day things. Consequently small things that were previously easy are suddenly more complicated. We find ourselves bargaining guilt, dealing with anger or slipping into an emotional tumble. This could lead to depression later on.

2. Integrated grief.

This is the enduring residual form of grief. In this the reality and meaning of the death are gradually understood. We meet a period of coping and acceptance. This is when we’re able to start moving forward again with enjoying ourselves and forming meaningful relationships.

Integrated grief does not mean that we forget about our loved one, we don’t miss them any less or stop experiencing sadness when we think about them. But, when we deal with integrated grief we’re able to find a way to feel connected to our loved one. Without them needing to be a physical presence in our lives.

We’re able to start to enjoy our life again without the thought of our loved one being constantly on our minds. However, there may be periods when acute grief and grieving re-emerges and it’s common. It can occur around the times of significant dates, e.g. holidays and birthdays, another loss, general life stress etc. But, when we hit the integrated grief phase, we’re understanding and beginning our process of healing.

Prolonged grief

A number of people may suffer with prolonged grief which is a timeline of an extended period of acute grief with complicated features which impede the restructuring process necessary for integrated grief.

To grieve is the natural process to help us adapt, and with other natural processes they don’t always run smoothly and so complicated grief can go on for years without the intensity of the grief decreasing.

If you’re suffering from complicated grief then you should consult with your GP who can refer you to a clinical psychologist with experience in complicated or prolonged grief.
If you’d like to book a grief therapy experience, you can do this here.

The role of counselling psychology in healing grief

.It’s important to understand that many people who are bereaved will heal on their own without the intervention of medical measures or even counselling psychology. Grief is a normal phenomenon as a response to loss. When the loss is of a loved one, we call this a bereavement. Under normal circumstances, the best course of action is a sympathetic ear and a hug, and this is enough for people to make their way through their grief and eventually come out of the other side and get on with their lives.

However, not everyone has someone close to who they feel comfortable confiding in. It may be that you don’t want to be a burden, or you’re simply alone after the loss of your loved one.

Bereavement therapy at Essential Feeling

This is where the bereavement therapy at Essential Feeling comes in. We offer that loving touch, a warm and cosy space in which you can relax and process your bereavement and grieve with the comfort of a trained therapist. It’s not counselling per-se, but you have the opportunity to open up and for the tenseness in your muscles to relax without the pressure of professional psychology counselling for your grief.

Look for the signs

There are two major circumstances where a program of professional medical treatment of grief and bereavement may be useful and it’s important to look out for these signs:

1. When the grief from the loss of a loved one triggers depression

One of the symptoms of grief is feeling sad for a period of time, but a serious clinical type of depression is very different. We all know that because the loss of a loved one is so severe this could trigger a major depressive episode which is more serious than simple grief which people get over with a little tender love and care.
There are lots of aspects to the vulnerability experienced through tragic loss but someone who has a past history of depression either themselves or as a family history may become more vulnerable. In the first instance, a quick doctors appointment may not be a bad idea.

When a grief triggers a depression, then this makes everything worse. The grief is more difficult to get through and has significant consequences on its own. One of the things to look out for is whether the bereavement has triggered a major depressive episodes. If this is the case, then this is when the grief should be treated through the normal way that doctors would treat any other depressive episode, such as with drugs and so forth.

2. The pain of the bereavement just doesn’t heal on its own.

Most of the time supportive loved ones and time is all it takes for someone’s grief to heal. But for 5% to 10% of individuals time doesn’t help and healing doesn’t occur. Intense prolonged non-healing that lasts for more than 6 months is then likely to continue for years. At this point, deep grief will take a stranglehold on the individual and will interfere with their overall health and wellbeing as well as daily functioning. At this point, the bereavement increases the risk of a number of illnesses and psychological treatment from an accredited psychologist who has a practice speciality in bereavement can make a major major difference. Traditional medication may also help.

Daily symptoms of grief

When someone is still suffering from the daily symptoms of grief on a daily basis they will show certain behaviour. For example, they may have a preoccupation with the person who died on a daily basis. Or they may display acute pain or non-acceptance of the death, for longer than 6 months post the person dying. This is called complicated grief. This is a complication and extenuation of grief. In this instance grief treatment from psychologists who understand the mental effects of grief is necessary. And can be life saving. This specialist treatment from counsellors can help bring someone back from their bereavement. This will assist them in progressing forward having gained the support they need for healing to occur.

Research

In one study of complicated grief, a specific form of psychotherapy can be curative. Some medication can help and may help in combination with the counselling and psychotherapy. There is work ongoing at the moment to look at the specific combinations of medication and psychotherapy.

If you would like to know more about these studies and how medical research into counselling psychology is supporting them, please feel free to watch this video.

To find out more about the bereavement therapies offered at Essential Feeling, you can check out the pages here.

 

Massage aids return to normal life after chronic arthritis — Find a massage therapist near me

Do you suffer with chronic arthritis but are dubious about whether you should find a massage therapist near me? Will it be worth it? Is it all just a scam?

Read on.

Find a massage therapist near me for chronic arthritis pain

British Medical Journal – Clinical Review: Diagnosis and management of juvenile idiopathic arthritis Juvenile idiopathic arthritis is the most common cause of chronic arthritis in childhood; it is characterised by joint inflammation that often leads to joint destruction with physical disability and chronic pain that affects daily life.

During the past decade, increased understanding of the disease has improved treatment, particularly through earlier diagnosis and new treatments that help to prevent long term damage to joints. Earlier this year, the British Society for Pediatric and Adolescent Rheumatology published standards of care for children and young people with juvenile idiopathic arthritis, which outlined the importance of involving different disciplines within healthcare. One of these, in addition to massage is nutrient based benefits, including tumeric.

The British Medical Journal reviewed recent advances in the diagnosis and management of juvenile idiopathic arthritis, and summarised that physiotherapy is important to maintain normal muscle and joint function combined with rehabilitation-using heat or cold treatment, massage, therapeutic exercise, and splints is crucial to returning to activities of daily living again. 

Femke H M Prince, Marieke H Otten, Lisette W A van Suijlekom-Smit

If you’d like to book a massage with a qualified massage therapist (hopefully you’re now sure it was worthwhile for you to find a massage therapist near me) then give us a text on 07941 668456 and we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re free. If you’d like to read more about our massage services, then you can do so here.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Office chair based massage such as Indian head massage, keeps costs low & spirits high

Indian head massage near me helps workers & their employers

If you’re thinking how? And you’re not sure whether to bother searching further for Indian head massage near me, then read on.

With the economy struggling, and public outrage at a peak over lavish corporate expenditures, some companies are still treating their

Migraine relief head massage
Teenage boy laying on a massage table, having a head massage

employees well. They’re doing it cheaply, right from the office by hiring massage therapists to come to their businesses and provide employees with Indian head massage at or near their desks.

”The massages we provide on site in local companies are not the type of luxury that you might find at a resort spa,” said Karen Botha of Essential Feeling holistic therapy specialists based in Gidea Park near Romford, Essex and provider of office based massages in the area. “The cost is much lower, and employees get a significant stress relief and morale boost.”

And these are stressful times. With corporate revenue and earnings down sharply over this prolonged recession, times have rarely been worse for corporate expenditures on employees. However, companies are finding that office massage such as Indian head massage can be a cost-effective way to reward employees and de-stress the work environment.

“We need a way to reward our employees, to show them that they are worthwhile, even if the amount of money we can spend on them to do this has been reduced,” said Diana Cortijo with World Bank, the international financing and development institution and a recent recipient of office massage. “Chair massage offers us a low-price way to bring the luxury of massage to our employees.”

Office massages such as Indian head massage, in addition to being low-cost, is also low-maintenance for companies. Generally, therapists such as Essential Feeling for instance will provide their own transport to the business, and bring their own massage chair and supplies. They then perform massage on employees on-site, with the employees fully clothed in an ergonomically relaxed, seated position. Most on site massage happens at an impromptu station, often setup in an unused meeting room in the office.

“It really takes the stress out,” said Helene Mangones of Graf Repetti & Co, LLP, another recent office massage recipient “all of a sudden bigger projects seem easier to tackle. And the stress that builds up during the day is relieved, allowing for an easier finish to the day, and even the current week and month.” This is why they thought it was a good idea to make the search for Indian head massage near me.

This stress reduction could ultimately lead to increases in productivity and a rise in profits. Stress is one of the leading causes of lowered productivity in the workplace. One estimate puts direct stress-related costs to businesses in the US at £200 billion per annum. Studies by the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami have shown stress reduction, mood and immune system benefits from massage therapy.

“We notice that things can get a little stressed, especially given the current economic environment,” Cortijo, of World Bank, said. “Office massage helps keep our workers’ minds and bodies fresh, and doesn’t stretch our budget to do it.”

Contact us now on 077941 668456 to find out how we can help you.

Indian head massage improves productivity

With the economy struggling, and public outrage at a peak over lavish corporate expenditures, some companies are still treating their employees well. They’re doing it cheaply, right from the office by hiring massage therapists to come to their businesses and provide employees with Indian head massage at or near their desks.

”The massages we provide on site in local companies are not the type of luxury that you might find at a resort spa,” said Karen Botha of Essential Feeling holistic therapy specialists based in Gidea Park near Romford, Essex and provider of office based massages in the area. “The cost is much lower, and employees get a significant stress relief and morale boost.”

And these are stressful times. With corporate revenue and earnings down sharply over this prolonged recession, times have rarely been worse for corporate expenditures on employees. However, companies are finding that office massage such as Indian head massage can be a cost-effective way to reward employees and de-stress the work environment.

“We need a way to reward our employees, to show them that they are worthwhile, even if the amount of money we can spend on them to do this has been reduced,” said Diana Cortijo with World Bank, the international financing and development institution and a recent recipient of office massage. “Chair massage offers us a low-price way to bring the luxury of massage to our employees.”

Office massages such as Indian head massage, in addition to being low-cost, is also low-maintenance for companies. Generally, therapists such as Essential Feeling for instance will provide their own transport to the business, and bring their own massage chair and supplies. They then perform massage on employees on-site, with the employees fully clothed in an ergonomically relaxed, seated position. Most on site massage happens at an impromptu station, often setup in an unused meeting room in the office.

“It really takes the stress out,” said Helene Mangones of Graf Repetti & Co, LLP, another recent office massage recipient “all of a sudden bigger projects seem easier to tackle. And the stress that builds up during the day is relieved, allowing for an easier finish to the day, and even the current week and month.”

This stress reduction could ultimately lead to increases in productivity and a rise in profits. Stress is one of the leading causes of lowered productivity in the workplace. One estimate puts direct stress-related costs to businesses in the US at £200 billion per annum. Studies by the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami have shown stress reduction, mood and immune system benefits from massage therapy.

“We notice that things can get a little stressed, especially given the current economic environment,” Cortijo, of World Bank, said. “Office massage helps keep our workers’ minds and bodies fresh, and doesn’t stretch our budget to do it.”

Contact us now

Massage near me

massage near meIt’s difficult finding a massage near me. You’re never sure who is professionally approved or on the other side of the equation, who offers massage along with a whole lot more!
Well, look no further.

Charlton offers professional massage. He’s ITEC qualified, licenced massage therapist who has specialised his services in healing muscular bodywork since 2011. This is when Essential Feeling was born and began operating out of their elegant massage studio location in Gidea Park near Romford.

Essential Feeling is the baby of Charlton and his wife Karen. Together the couple adore offering customised massage and reflexology services and this is why they are accepted to treat under many of the UK’s insurance policies (please check first).

Charlton is in charge of massage and Karen the reflexology although Karen will work with clients as part of a couple’s massage as she is also trained. Together they enjoy helping clients looking for therapeutic wellness relief from real health complaints. They get a real kick out of helping people overcome their personal issue, either with relaxing treatments or through customised deep tissue work that aims to overcome chronic pain. Charlton loves the way that working with different health complaints really challenges him to get the best out of his skill set. For instance, when you have an hours massage at Essential Feeling, you will receive a totally different service if you’re looking for relief for lower back pain to how you would be treated if you have a sports injury that is preventing you from training, or gymming.

Charlton massage therapist Essential FeelingCharlton’s reviews (which sit under the Essential Feeling brand,) are second to none. Check them out on Google, and Facebook to be certain that you’re choosing to visit an experienced professional who not only knows his stuff, but is also approachable.

Being run by the two owners means that when you visit Essential Feeling, you’ll be certain of receiving a massage therapy from someone who really cares about you. You are not a number; you are a person and Charlton will seek to understand your problems and how that not only affects your lifestyle but also how your lifestyle is contributing to your problem so that he can ease your pain with massage therapy. That’s because he believes that being a licenced therapist isn’t enough, no two bodies are the same and neither are two people’s lives. So, why would your treatment plan be out of a box? You are unique and your massage therapy will be too.
All of this will be done within a casual atmosphere where certified massage professionals live and breathe anatomy and physiology.

That’s not to say that if you’re looking for a calming Swedish massage that aims to relax you and help you unwind, then Charlton is more than happy to help.
Essential Feeling massage and reflexology specialists are based in Gidea Park near Romford, Essex. They take appointments 7 days a week, from 7am to 9pm for a 10pm finish. You will benefit from free off street parking during your appointment and we hope you’ll agree with such long appointment times, you’ll be sure to find a slot that works for you.

Essential Feeling is happy to take same day appointments by text on 07941 668456, but there is no walk in facility. If you’d like to book online, then you may do so here.

Quick fire questions answered:
What is a full body massage?
This covers everything from your fingers and your toes. We’ll work your tight muscles from your aching back down to your legs, and up to your head.
Does full body massage include private parts?
Nope. Not at this establishment.
How does it cost to get a full body massage?
It depends on how much time you need as you pay us for our time, not the type of massage. Different pressure requires differing amounts of time.
The pressure may be firm as in sports massage where we firstly warm your muscles up and then break them down so they reform in a more relaxed state. Due to needing to warm up before deep tissue, we need 2 hours for this style. If you’d like a lighter, more gentle touch such as a Swedish massage then this takes less time, although to do a good job we ask for a minimum of 1.5 hours so that we can ensure you have a quality treatment.
How much is a 60 minute massage?
£60 for one hour of our time. The price increases pro rata from thereon up. The minimum time is 60 minutes. Book online here.